I’d like to write about something fun.
Fashion! (must resist urge to burst out singing along to the tune of fashion by David Bowie)
To me It’s always been so much more than just wearing what you think looks good, something much deeper. I’ve always felt an urge to express myself through different mediums, like drawing, writing and crafting but also through fashion.
Let me take you back…where my journey with fashion started.
I’ve always been a very feminine person. I liked dressing up as typical feminine characters like princesses and really kind of feminine versions of everything.
I remember that I was probably around 7 years old and I wanted to wear my favourite dress to school, mom said no and I got so upset, I just really badly wanted to be extra cute for school. Next step in my fashion journey was around when I, a 10 year old sat down with my mom because I wanted to talk to her about my clothes, I just said that I didn’t want her to buy me any more colourful clothes, I had seen like 2 really cool alternative looking people in my hometown and I desperately wanted to befriend them, except they where about 15 and didn’t exactly want to hang out with a 10 year old. I just thought those people where so beautiful, I was never uneasy around them or feeling scared by their look.
Around 2007 (when I was 10) there where a youth magazine called ”Okej” in Sweden. I was subcribed to them and I was flicking through one of them and I saw this ad for the shop called ”shock”. The ad was really intriguing so I searched up the website and the fashion those cool people I’d seen before wear where all pretty much there.
I stalked that website for so many years, and when I finally got to the physical store in Stockholm, I died of excitement. That is where my fashion journey really started, because I’d gotten my hands on some exciting clothing and I just wanted to never wear anything else but them. I’ve always been a whole lot more on a higher level than regular people when I feel a certain feeling. Like when I’m happy I feel really really happy and with all other feelings too, they’re kind of exaggerated ( I guess?).
So maybe you can imagine what all that excitement and happiness did to me, finding that kind of fashion changed my life, both in a good and bad way. Good because I felt right at home, switching from different colours and styles. Until I was 14. I took it way too seriously. It became a commitment to me, taking everything so literally. It stressed me out in my teens, I was supposed to keep my alternative look together and get good grades and work out and aah I just feel anxious writing about those years.
People started saying that I was weird looking, maybe because I shifted styles of clothing so much, I wanted to be a sweet lolita, goth, fairy kei, punk, decora… you name it. Miight have been standing out from the crowd a bit since my hometown is so, so small. They didn’t get me. I started surpressing my eclectic side in fashion to become full blown dark looking, because people could easily ask why I was wearing that and I could just point to goth, now they had a word and could easily look it up if they wanted, maybe that made me less of a weirdo. They could see that I was inside a box as well, because forbid all those who break out of them. I was now limiting myself, putting myself in a strict box where I didn’t belong. Everything I put on my body had to be dark colour and everything just fell apart. I pretty much lost my love for fashion because of this.
But then, in my very late teens and now, soon at 20 I stopped taking everything so seriously and just started expressing my feelings, my love for clothing and celebrating my own unique human being on days when I feel like it instead…
Life is seriously too short to be lived inside of a box society created to easily identify and limit people. There’s really no harm in breaking out of them, expressing your own personal fashion style. It’s so much more fun out of there, I promise.
To me fashion is fun, a symbol of freedom, experimental, not too serious, a way of expressing feelings and artistic visions.
I wrote this, not only for my blog but for myself to look back on whenever I get confused by all these boxes people want me to go inside of.
I’m a very eclectic person, never have been anything other than that, never will be. I like the freedom of it you know. I just really like being free and able to do what I want.