Change is in the air

I can feel the change in the air, especially so clear today.

I feel like a strong force today. I’m a bit angry. I feel like throwing away all my shit. Just live in my room without any clutter. Throw away all my non nature inspired clothes and just live in my oversized dresses and skirts.

I took my daily walk, only much earlier than I usally walk, and It was amazing. I totally forgot how amazing it is to walk early in the morning. I feel so connected to mother nature. At the same time as I felt really connected to nature I felt so disconnected to mankind. I often think long and hard on this subject. Why is mankind so hateful? So false? So vain? So disrespectful? The list is goes on and on. It is so clear to me today, I mean, it kind of  always is in the back of my head but it was so very clear today. I will not participate. In fact, I refuse. I will live in the forest in a cottage, go to work and do grocery shopping and run other errands like going to the bank and to my psychologist in a town, but that’s it. I’ve totally had it.

The world is cruel and I’m sensitive and I don’t recordnize the way most people aspires to live their life. I have no intentions of ever living in a big town, climbing the status ladder, owning expensive brand shit and having a high status job, on concrete streets filled with ”everything you need”.

No. In fact It doesn’t have everything I need. I need trees, I need fresh air, I need flowers. I need brooks and wilderness. I need SPACE.

I feel like when I was younger  I watched this kind of life from a far distance, dreaming of it, seeing it from a small town person perspective. Very exotic. And I always got told that everyone is so much more openminded in the cities, that’s what really attracted me. Then I went to school in a greater city, got sick from all the stress and unnatural inviroments. The city and all It’s competitive humans drained all my energy. I realised I didn’t fit in after all.

My much more quicker recovery than expected depended a lot on getting back to the daily forest walks and runs when I returned home.

When I get healthy enough to work, I’m going to save as much as I can to pursue my dream of living in the forest. Without stress, without interacting with too many humans. Just with those people who I’ve chosen to getting to be a apart of my life.

I get more sensitive for each day. I never watch the news for example. It breaks my heart. The time has come. The storm has passed. I need to get my life together. Get healthy in both my mental and physical state, which I’m well on my way to being. Getting my drivers license, get a job and off we go. Into the forest, away from this cruel world, and into my own that I’ve cultivated.

Ohh, how I long for that day, when I’m sitting in my cottage, in the middle of the forest.

Best of wishes,

/Viola Whimsical

 

Feeling quite lost sometimes in life

Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog. Going quite personal and psychological with this post, just a heads up.

This post’s topic is kind of weird. I often nowadays feel quite lost with myself. I mean I know my personality traits and such but the rest is kind of a mess and as I said, I feel lost. I think it might be like this because I’m evolving, but I’ve evolved a lot into diffrent aspects and experiences and quite often but never felt anything like this that is happening right now.

Sometimes I pick up these intrests I have and focus on them a lot, but in these days this phenomenon is leaving me feeling guilty and confused. Like I picked up doll collecting again since a few months ago and I yesterday I felt totally out of place and full of guilt, like I shouldn’t like these things now as an adult. Which is strange to me since I’ve always embraced my intrests before and not caring whenever they where seen as appropriate for another age, I have 0 intention of ever abondning my inner child.

I also think a lot about how my intrests fit together and unintentionally in the back of my mind how I could make it all make sense but I just can’t. It’s frustrating. Even though I still feel like I sometimes have these moments of clarity, they’re getting less and less.

I’m so eclectic it makes me confused. I like so many diffrent things. Maybe that’s a gift, being able to appreciate so many things but It just makes me sad and confused sometimes. I think I might be in need of some structure, but on the other hand structure made me sick and made me feel so limited.

When I was in secondary school I labeled myself as goth because I wanted people to understand me better, suppressing all the other things I liked like Japanese fashion (lolita fashion) and upbeat music.

It’s so hard sometimes to stay true to yourself when everyone else wants to put you into a box so you fit in. And I never fit in! And I think that I now, at the end of this post I have gotten some clarity again.

I need both light and dark in my life since my life is so up and down all the time, and I need something to express these things through. Me being bipolar might have always influenced me, since I see beauty in both dark and light. And just a reminder, dark isn’t necessarily evil and light isn’t always good. (but that is another big topic.)

 

Sincerely,

/Viola Whimsical

 

Personal mantra

Hi. 

I have been thinking, just as I always do and I remembered a very good advice which I got from a person I really admire. To make your own mantra, sacred things you need to remember about yourself. 

“Mantra” has become as mainstream as “intention.” But the two are actually quite different. The word mantra can be broken down into two parts: “man,” which means mind, and “tra,” which means transport or vehicle. In other words, a mantra is an instrument of the mind—a powerful sound or vibration that you can use to enter a deep state of meditation

Suffocate your self reducing thoughts in daily reminders of all the good facts about yourself and all your great characteristics and skills. Write it down or record yourslef. I am not ready to do the latter, but I will however write it down so I am able to read it. I’m going to keep it private, even though I thought about writing it down here. But it is my own personal daily mantra and I will keep it so.

I belive it all begins with a thought. It is said that It takes 15 seconds for one thought to become reality. When you get a self destructive/reducing thought try to run or read your mantra until it disappears. Thought replacement! As I’m still recovering from my latest depression in my illness I’m only now trying this out. 
/ Viola Whimsical

Laboured day turned into a beautiful one

Hi and welcome back today to my blog.

Today’s been rough on me, but I actually managed to turn it around myself and that surely is a healthy sign. I spoiled myself today.

First I went to my local second hand shop and bought a few things on saaale, as if it weren’t cheap enough haha. (Might show you in another later post today.)

Then I was so disapointed because I gained some weight since last time I got checked on a weight watchers meeting 2 weeks ago. Started hating on myself and got quite self destructive in my thoughts but I MANAGED TO SNAP OUT OF IT. Which is a HUGE thing to me, I can’t remember the last time where I actually managed to take back control after I started self hating. I feel powerful, I am powerful.

And to make a mark for myself that I actually do care about myself and I only deserve the best I went to my favourite store in my hometown and bought me an amethyst pendulum, some marvelous room spray scented fresh linen and two tumbled rocks, moonstone for celebrating my femininity and flourite for absorbing and neutralizing negative energies. Then I took a short walk down the street to my favourite resturant in my hometown and bought sushi that tasted like heaven.

 

Now I only have to keep my head above the deep dragging water for the rest of the day.

Tomorrow I’m going visit my cute grandpa and then I’m going to go to my first orienteering since my middle school days.

Also on Friday I’m going to catch up with my best girl Noah.

There’s always things to look forward to in life, If you look really closely, you’ll most certainly always find something, if not then look forward to the day when things turn around for you and try if you can, to actively work for it! Life is today, right now. It might be too late tomorrow, so get on with things today if you can.

 

Love and blessings,

)O(

/Viola Whimsical

 

How have you been?

Hi. Welcome back to the whimsical world of mine. If your new here you are welcome in as well.

Um, how have you been is the title and I guess I’m going to answer that question now.

Life has as usually been up and down… but mostly good actually. I mean I have soooo much less daily anxiety than I used to. I get the most important things done during the day. I’ve also discovered this ancient self-love and become even more (!) self aware. 

Realised tonight what my true goals are. Felt like if they showed up on big significant sign in front of me. Some of my goals hit me in the face and made me feel uneasy about some old habits I had dragging behind me. So I cut them lose. Let them go. 

Some goals embraced me like an autumn wind full of leaves. I made a change and a promise for myself anyhow. I will keep violawhimsical on all social media that I am active on but will change my posting and my daily consuming patterns dramatically. It’s kind of been happening for a while actually. It’s me shedding my old skin and stepping into a new even more true form of myself. A transformation if I may call it that. I’m still the same kind, whimsical, caring, natureloving child that I truly am to my core but I am simply throwing away everything that feel like access weight and every old habit that doesn’t feel like me anymore. 

I must admit I was terrified at first. I feared for the worst…that I was losing myself. But after much consideration I realised I am not.
I’m evolving. 
/ Viola Whimsical 

Mental illness and spirituality

Hi! I thought this is going to be mental illness and spirituality and how the two of them go together post.

I have to say that throughout my life my spirituality has helped me a lot even though I wasn’t aware of it or didn’t know what it was. It was always something there that I couldn’t quite understand or grasp. To me this is very important since It helps me a lot in my depressive episodes which I have more frequently then mania.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read this post first. It’s comforting to have somewhere to turn to when you’re feeling so broken and depressed. I tend to turn to nature. I always have, but nature especially has been a great part in my road to recovery since 2014, when I got both mania and depressive periods. (Not at the same time, but the same year.)  I went to walk in the forest everyday and it was like medicine for me. I always thought that I like nature and animals a whole lot more than the other people around me and that’s how I ”really” started to explore my spirituality.

Quitting to eat meat where one of the steps my spirituality inspired me to take. I personally feel a lot better without meat and animal products that where created with pain and pure cruelty. I feel like a better version of myself, for me and the animals and the enviroment.

I’d love to get to know my spiritual self a lot more, but sometimes life disconnects us, especially today when everything is powered with technology.  I’m NOT saying that technology is bad but sometimes is is over used by us, when we would really just feel better walking instead of taking the elevator.

I personally belive that there is a whole ton more to experience in this world, beyond the materialism and what we see.

Real happiness and potential to do great things in life lies within us. It is not in how expensive your new bag where or what high paid status job you’ve got. It’s up to us whenether we want to use our inner happiness and potential. It sits there, in our core, waiting to be explored.

I’ve never felt real satisfaction from buying something, sure I like what I bought and It might become useful and special to me but I would surely survive without it. That’s not satisfaction and can never be compared to the real satisfactions of your inner self when you succed with something mentally. I do own a lot of things. You should see my room…haha but when I buy things I usally do it second hand. And that is good for the enviroment, and sometimes other lesser fortunate people benefit from it, which is great!

 

To end my post,

Take care of yourself, explore your spirituality and keep on going. Everything you really want and need lies within you.

Blessed be )O(

/Viola Whimsical

 

Wishlist- Unicorns and books galore!

I thought I would share some of my recent amazon wishlist items. First,

I found this amazing resin unicorn skull… I am enchanted!

 

Then I found this unicorn bust again that I’ve been eyeing since April this year. I just.. words can’t describe. I love it!

I’m sure many of you already know that I don’t drink and do not promote drinking but I love this unicon bottle holder, I thought that It could in my case maybe hold some bottle of alcohol free glogg for winter celebrations and get togethers.

I already got a unicorn statue at home with a faerie on it as well but I’d love to have this unicorn, he looks so lonely and needs a new home!

 

I’d love to have this cutie on my bed someday..

 

Now to the book section of this post:

The book Witchcraft today by Gerald Gardner, the English gentleman I wrote a bit about in my spiritual path post.

Scott Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of magical herbs book.

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem & Metal Magic (Cunningham's Encyclopedia Series) by [Cunningham, Scott]

Scott Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of crystal, gem and metal magic

Norse mythology by an author named Robert Carlson.

 

Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Magical Plants by [Gregg, Susan]

The complete illustrated encyclopedia of magical plants by Susan Gregg

 

Paganism an introduction to earth-centered religions by Joyce and River Higginbotham.

 

The encyclopedia of crystals by Judy Hall.

 

Amy Brown Faery Wisdom Deck (Tarot Cards)Faery wisdom deck (tarot cards) with beautiful, beautiful illustrations by Amy brown!

 

I did have more books to add to this list but decided to not include them since it would be so much for you guys to read. I’m going to own these books one day and I’d love to make some book reviews then.

Best wishes,

/Viola Whimsical

My spiritual path

 

Hi everyone. Today is a great day for me to finally bring something up that I’ve been wanting to talk about for so long. Actually, I  already wanted to talk about It back in 2013 when this blog was new,  but I just couldn’t form the right words that I wanted to. I’m talking about my spirituality. To start of , I’ve always belived that we humans are more than just humans, (think about it, we’re freaking made of stardust) and that we are able to do great things for ourselves, eachothers and the earth and the other creatures that roam on it’s surface. I don’t belive that some of us are born evil and some good. It’s a shallow concept and I think It’s more complex than that. Darkness isn’t necessarily bad. In order to grow and evolve into the best version of yourself you must go through some pretty dark times usally. Light isn’t always necessarily good either, It can make some people blind for the reality and make them naive in a bad way. I think there has to be a good balance in the life of a person with both dark and light.

Since I was little I always belived in faeries and magic. I just can’t explain it, It was always there and I didn’t understand it. When I’m talking about magic I do not mean the ”magic” we see in the media with witches flying on brooms and wands that cast visible spellls with pink clouds and you know that sort of thing. I’m talking about the magic that surrounds us in everyday life. You are magic, a miracle and so is the nature. I am particulary found of the forests and lakes. Since I was little I always had a particular strong connection to the element earth and water. Whenever I went to the forest or bathed in a lake I felt safe and at home. It’s not that mysterious really since my grandmothers family lived in the middle of the forest and my grandfather used to be a sailor. It’s something that sits in my core.

It’s hard times living a spiritual way of life in todays society. Everything has go fast and you always have to be online and be ready to do things all the time. The cities are crowded and living there is an artificial way of living that I personally can’t cope with. I’m very stress vulnerable and can’t catch up with the speed of the rest of the world. There are a lot of times in life ( frequently) that I have to go off the internet. The internet can both be a great thing and a bad thing. It’s great because we have a lot of power today since we can get new knowledge with the press of a button. It’s bad because it disconnects us from whats really important in life. It’s like we’ve forgotten who we are so we go to the cities in our small iron boxes (cars) and live in tiny shoeboxes (apartments). All to try to become something we in reality really actually aren’t. Our real home is in nature and it saddens me a lot that we’re destroying our own home. My dream is to one day to have my own home, living in a cottage in the forest. It’s in the nature that I feel the most powerful.

So you might as well have guessed that I belive that the nature has magic powers. It has the power to shape us into powerful, peaceful beings of the earth. I try not to label myself anymore because It actually destroys more than it gives. For example, when I was younger I used to call myself ”goth” and it was great for feeling secure but I actually tried to throw away all the things about me that weren’t ”goth” and in the end it made me feel really insecure about myself. I’ve always been drawn to dark and light things equally. It’s who I am and I can’t change that. My point is that I don’t really belive in labels anymore. It’s just a way we humans has invented to be able to understand eachother more. I don’t think It’s ment to harm anyone but I feel like we’re limiting ourselves and that is harming us. And at this point I don’t want to call myself anything. I am me, a human being just like you who are reading this. I am free to think, speak and be whatever I want. I belive in the power of the mind. I know what way I want to go without religion. I don’t want to call my beliefs religious, since to me religion usally has a really bad ring to it. But my beliefs they are indeed spiritual. I’m not stepping on anyone who’s religious and if religion works for you that’s fantastic!

A spiritual path that is 5really close to my heart is the wiccan path. Wicca is an old english word for witch and was founded by an english gentleman called Gerald Gardner in the 195o’s.

105908202_137299183555
Gerald Gardner 1884-1964

The wiccan belief system has no holy book or writings that tells you what the devine is. Individual people, groups and traditions in Wicca can all belive in a variety of diffrent gods and view them in a variety of ways. This is what I love about wicca, that it’s so personal and adaptable. In the wiccan path you view the devine as the existence of the world, nothing almighty that lays beyond our world, the devine is something that is in everything around us, the earth, the animals, in plants and in us humans and in the nature. The two ”main” Gods in the wiccan path is the Goddess and the God, which are two equal and equally important Gods even though the Goddess is sometimes mentioned more by some wiccans.

The pentacle is perhaps the most known wiccan symbol and is often misunderstood by non pagans.

2000px-Pentacle_on_white.svg
The pentacle, picturing a pentagram in the middle

The pentacle is demonized by a lot of other non pagan religions and is viewed as something bad or evil. In reality the symbol is not evil, just as I said misunderstood. The pentacle symbolizes the points that represents the four elements (fire, water, earth & air) and ether (spirit). The circle around the pentagram symbolizes the wholeness of it all. The pentacle is an ancient symbol for protection. However the petacle is sadly often viewed as evil in a lot of horror movies and is often connected to the devil in these movies. The devil is a christian concept and wiccans doesn’t even belive that the devil exists so how could we even worship him?

Triple-Goddess-Symbol
The triple goddess symbol

The triple moon is a Goddess symbol that represents the Maiden, Mother, and Crone as the waxing, full, and waning moon. The triple goddess symbol represents the three stages of a womans lifecycle. The Maiden represents the beginning of a new life, youth, naivety. The Mother represents fertility, stability, and power. The Crone represents the end, wisdom and compassion. I’m just trying to summarize everything, there are more things that the Maiden, Mother and Crone represents. I hold this symbol very close to my heart and plan on getting a tattoo with it this fall.

Many of these symbols are popular and often worn in various of todays alternative fashion styles. I think most people doesn’t know what they represent but I think It’s okay to borrow and wear symbols from every religion or spiritual path as long as it’s not borrowed for bad intentions.

To summarize what wiccan believe in, other than the gods I think that the wiccan rede does a pretty good job:

Wiccans do not cast curses or wish misfortune on others because wiccans belive that what you do to other people will come back three times your way, so cursing someone doesn’t seem like a great idea right? The word “Rede” means “advice” or “counsel”. An’ ye harm none, do what ye will. Do as you want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.

 

/ Viola Whimsical

 

 

 

All is full of love

Hi! Today is also a great day so far for me. I’m having this very conscious sense of self, peaceful and quiet. Currently listening to Björk and her songs from various albums, right now ”It’s not up to you” is playing. I’m also drinking tea and pondering about life in a ligher view. When I say that I’m quiet I mean that my thoughts aren’t in a bad place, they’re quiet pleasant thoughts and not loud unpleasant ones that I’ve had my fair share of before.

I’m thinking that real happiness and wealth is not in material things and money. The real wealth and happiness comes from within. I don’t want to have a lot of money and fame, society tells us that that’s kind of all that matters. Think about it. If another world war would begin you wouldn’t have any help from your material shit and looks. Your faith in yourself and and the power of your mind would be what would help you. That’s the real deal.

I’m very wealthy actually since I have a rich inner life. My imagination is very childlike, and I do not ever plan to grow out of it or grow up. It’s my most precious attribute. Life is very short but at the same time It’s the longest thing we will ever experience. I don’t have time to try to please and impress everyone. I feel like I’ve got more important things to do. Sure I love decorating myself with makeup and hairstyles and clothing but I’m only doing that for me and no one else. It’s an act of self love I figured. And that’s not all there is to me. I have so much else to give. I’m not just some blonde girl with a pretty surface and nothing else. It makes me pissed that people can’t see that you can be creative with your looks and be in contact with the universe at the same time. Just because I like to decorate myself it doesn’t mean I’m shallow. I am a sensitive, compassionate human being with many great qualites. And no, I will not apologize on social media for being without makeup and posting a picture. We’re all beautiful just the way we where created so please don’t apologize for not wearing cosmetics. At this point I’m rambling, but shit is important so that’s why I’m bringing all of this up.

 

Blessed be.

/ Viola Whimsical