Life update- Swedish blogpost update, Bipolar madness, skiing and well being

Hello.

I thought I would make an effort and start blogging in swedish as well as english, so from now on you’ll see the each blogpost in Swedish in the second part of the blogpost. 🙂

Today is a pretty good day since I feel like I’m making the right desicions for myself and can express my situation in words so I thought I would write some.

I’ve discovered that being bipolar and blogging is hard actually. But mostly for the reader I  can imagine. One day  I’m fine and then I all of a sudden the next day I want to die or something in that sense. I think for someone standing outside of my madness, watching it all it must be quite hard to follow. The thing is I’m still struggling with myself to get the right kind of medication and a lifestyle that will benefit me the most in my life so everything is extremely upside down right now.

I have started to work out again each day and I can already tell there is improvement in my mental health. I can barely wait to see the differance this will make in my physical well being as well…I’ve got many ideas on how I want to exercise during the diffrent seasons of the year. Since It’s winter skiing becomes relevant again which I for years have wanted to try out again, I think the last time I went skiing was in third grade haha.

I had a breakdown a few weeks ago when I got a full blown anxiety attack and wanted to end it all. One week  ago I had to go to the psychiatric ward because I felt like I wanted to hurt myself and I didn’t want that to happen but I got no help what so ever and had to go home without anything to calm me down. I believe that I could have just talked on the phone with them instead but they thought I should come in for valuation, and I still didn’t get any help.

There might be some more blogposts during the day since this is a good writing day.

Hugs,

/Viola Whimsical

 


 

Hej.

TĂ€nkte jag Ă€ven skulle börja blogga pĂ„ svenska. Jag hoppas ni svenskar nu anstrĂ€nger er och lĂ€ser bloggen dĂ„ det kommer ta mycket tid att översĂ€tta alla kommande inlĂ€gg för mig. 🙂

Idag Àr en bra dag dÄ jag kÀnner att jag tar rÀtt beslut i mitt liv och kan uttrycka min livssituation i ord sÄ jag passar pÄ att skriva lite.

Jag har upptÀckt att vara bipolÀr och bloggare samtidigt Àr ganska svÄrt. Men mest för lÀsaren kan jag nog förestÀlla mig. En dag mÄr jag bra och helt plötsligt nÀsta dag vill jag dö eller nÄgot i den stilen. Jag fÄr för mig att för nÄgon som stÄr utanför av mina galenskaper och som ser allting, mÄste det vara svÄrt att hÀnga med. Saken Àr den att jag fortfarande kÀmpar med mig sjÀlv, att fÄ rÀtt medicin och livsstil som blir mest till min fördel i livet sÄ allting Àr extremt upp och ner just nu.

Jag har börjat trĂ€na varje dag och jag kan redan nu kĂ€nna positiv förĂ€ndring i mitt psykiska mĂ„ende. Kan knappt bĂ€rga mig att se skillnaden det kommer göra i min fysiska hĂ€lsa ocksĂ„…Har mĂ„nga idĂ©er om hur jag ska röra pĂ„ mig under de olika Ă„rstiderna. Nu pĂ„ vintern blir ju tex skidĂ„kning aktuelllt igen vilket jag flera Ă„r tillbaka viljat prova pĂ„ igen, senast jag Ă„kte skider var nog nĂ€r jag gick i trean haha.

Jag hade ett sammanbrott för nÄgra veckor sedan dÄ jag fick en extremt stark Ängestattack och ville avsluta mitt liv. För en vecka sedan var jag tvungen att Äka till psykiatriska akutmottagningen för det kÀndes som jag ville skada mig sjÀlv och jag ville inte att det skulle hÀnda sÄ jag Äkte dit, men jag fick ingen hjÀlp överhuvudtaget. Jag tycker att jag skulle kunnat prata med dem i telefon istÀllet men de tyckte jag skulle komma ner till Karlstad för utvÀrdering, men fick som sagt ingen hjÀlp trots mina sjÀlvskadetankar.

Kanske kommer flera inlÀgg under dagen dÄ jag kÀnner att det Àr en bra skrivardag idag.

Kramar,

/Viola Whimsical

 

 

Things do not go as planned sometimes

Hi. I’ve been kind of quiet lately here in my blog but I do have a reason for it. I’m on a new medication and I’m just all over the place in my mood. One second I feel okay the next I feel like everything is falling apart and that I just want a break from it all, like get to sleep for a hundred years or something. I’m fed up with people constantly ignoring the issue that is mental illness. I feel like there is a certain attitude in our society against mental illness, if you can’t see it it’s not real. As you might know from earlier posts I suffer from mental illness/anxiety/bipolar disorder and it’s really tough. Yesterday I had a big anxiety attack and had to run out of the classroom. I was going to do more fun stuff this week on my blog as I recently went on a adventure across Sweden, I was going to do a haul and talk about It but I just can’t right now, my mental wellbeing is wayyy more important than vlogging and sharing my trip with you.   

 
I wish you all the best, 

/Viola Whimsical ♡

My mental illness

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my blog. It’s been little while and I’m actually not going to apologize even if I would like to do so. I’ve gotten worse in my mental state, depressed and indiffrent feeling. And I’m at this point in my life where I don’t want to sugarcoat the reality of my life that I’m actually going to confess something to all of you. At this point in life I don’t think it’s that much big of a deal anymore, but it still affect me daily. I have no problem with letting you all know.  I’ve got this mental illness called bipolar. Another reason for telling the world this is because I want to help change the stigma around people with mental illnesses. So that’s why I tend to go back and forth in my mental state as you might have noticed, and tend to not write when I’m getting my depressive periods of time because I didn’t feel ready to tell the world. If you think that I’m now considered dangerous because of this, I plead to you to please do some research first. I’m actually going to give you some basic information about this in this blogpost but the rest you’ll have to look up yourself.

I’m bipolar. I take my medication daily. Just like some people have to take medication because of their physical disabilities and problems. I’m now at this critical point where I might have to switch to diffrent medications because It just isn’t working for me. That’s okay, that’s how life works sometimes.

Now to some information about this bipolar illness. I think the pictures below describes it all pretty well.

Bildresultat för bipolar

Basically, you get these episodes of mania and depression throughout your life and sometimes you’re too high up on the mood scale, sometimes your in the middle (normal state) and sometimes you’re just too low down on the mood scale. We’re talking extremes here from feeling like the happiest, luckiest person on earth to feeling like the most depressed, suicidal person on earth. Of course, with the right medication you can mitigate these extreme episodes into more or normal states (which is what I’ve been doing, but now need another new medication or higher dose since it’s not working anymore) That’s some brief information about bipolar illness for you.

Next up I’m going to write a post about my view on mental illness and spirituality.

Best wishes,

/Viola Whimsical