I wish I had the motivation to get my art projects done and make my visions reality. Sadly I’m not there yet.
I might be climbing up from the dark pit that is depression but I have so much work to do on myself in order to get on with life. I have to clean up after my depression that hopefully have left for a while… it’s not a “pretty” sight. I need to woooooorkkkkkk on myself. Starting right now.
But I’ll never forget to love myself FIRST ever again!♡
/ Viola Whimsical
Hi everyone. Welcome back to my blog. It’s been little while and I’m actually not going to apologize even if I would like to do so. I’ve gotten worse in my mental state, depressed and indiffrent feeling. And I’m at this point in my life where I don’t want to sugarcoat the reality of my life that I’m actually going to confess something to all of you. At this point in life I don’t think it’s that much big of a deal anymore, but it still affect me daily. I have no problem with letting you all know. I’ve got this mental illness called bipolar. Another reason for telling the world this is because I want to help change the stigma around people with mental illnesses. So that’s why I tend to go back and forth in my mental state as you might have noticed, and tend to not write when I’m getting my depressive periods of time because I didn’t feel ready to tell the world. If you think that I’m now considered dangerous because of this, I plead to you to please do some research first. I’m actually going to give you some basic information about this in this blogpost but the rest you’ll have to look up yourself.
I’m bipolar. I take my medication daily. Just like some people have to take medication because of their physical disabilities and problems. I’m now at this critical point where I might have to switch to diffrent medications because It just isn’t working for me. That’s okay, that’s how life works sometimes.
Now to some information about this bipolar illness. I think the pictures below describes it all pretty well.
Basically, you get these episodes of mania and depression throughout your life and sometimes you’re too high up on the mood scale, sometimes your in the middle (normal state) and sometimes you’re just too low down on the mood scale. We’re talking extremes here from feeling like the happiest, luckiest person on earth to feeling like the most depressed, suicidal person on earth. Of course, with the right medication you can mitigate these extreme episodes into more or normal states (which is what I’ve been doing, but now need another new medication or higher dose since it’s not working anymore) That’s some brief information about bipolar illness for you.
Next up I’m going to write a post about my view on mental illness and spirituality.
Not feeling so very well at The moment. This year has been so tough on me and had me dealing with so many struggles.
I lost a shitload of “friends” (fake,fake,fake) changed My eating habits a hundred times (It was putting too much stress on My body because of it changing so fast and sometimes in a very unhealthy way.)
I’m very pleased that The very fast way I was living is slowing down at The moment. I can look back at things now and realise why that kind of living is not working for me. I have to calm down and study here, where I’ve always lived.
Do I still miss My friends at My old school? yes, some of them.
Do I still want to leave this town as quickly as possible? probably, yeah.
Do I still hate this town as much as I did before I left for Karlstad? actually no, not as much as I used to.
So there are some quite positive things about this and some negative things and That’s okay! I’m glad it’s not only bad things!
Anyways, now I feel like I really need to sleep. Might catch you all at breakfast tomorrow 😉