Hi internetland, it’s Viola from faerieland!
Today I thought I was going to write about something that’s been on my mind for a long time. Life is short right? It’s not going to pause just because you want it to. At some point my identity shattered to pieces and I had an identity crisis and I was at my worst last autumn. I started questioning things I had enjoyed for years. As I had promised myself to, I put my well being first and get rid of all the things that I thought made me distracted at first but I actually made it a lot worse by taking away these ”unnecessary” things in my life, I now realize.
I am just a person with very many facets, intrests, things I enjoy, just like everybody else! I thought that in order to connect the most with my soul I had to take away all these material intrests, like doing makeup and expressing my art through the things I wear on my body… it’s not true! I can own as many things I want and still be so in touch, just knowing that material things aren’t everything there is to life, and take that responsibility for your well being, not let anything consume you too much.
What I thought I did was giving myself freedom when I actually as I see it now, took my freedom away! I mean maybe I had to take things away for a little while, just to see what I wanted. (look hard and try to always learn something from things you’ve done or experienced.)
The point is that I can be whatever I want to be, I create my life and I am responsible for it.
I always think so much that I go around in circles and then I find the answer right in front of me, right where I started.
I looove fashion. That does not make me a stuck up and vain person! I love to work on my spirituality and ponder on the deeper, bigger questions in life and I still can while I have fun!
My challenge will be trying to fuse these things together, carry and balance them in life, without thinking too much about it but still have some kind of control. Also not comparing myself to others, I walk my path this way and everyone else theirs. Oh how life is like walking on a thin thread, balancing yourself through everything…
but guess what? It’s so fucking worth it!
So if I could leave my identity shattered, scary and long moment behind me… that would be great!
I wrote this for my sake so I can read it again later, you know just in case I fall down the rabbit hole again in the future. Life is way too short, enjoy yourselves!♡
Happiest of greetings,