Change of plans+ autumn diy

I’ve been dreading for this day to come. The day I would return to this blog after the incident that whilst feeling sad I view as an epic failure. 

I’m not going to take the course, the one I described as yoga/art/spiritual and so on (that I was looking forward to so much). It just didn’t fit in my life right now, yeah right, it actually did! But the stress that came around like remembering to make lunch for the next day or wake up on time to take the bus didn’t fit in at all. I got stressed.

I’m in a place of my recovering, mind you, where I’m completely in need of peace and no stress. Ideally I would never have to become exposed to stress again, but in this world that is next to impossible. I will never be exposed to it in the same way again though, that’s for sure, that is something I’m not going to let happen again. 

With getting that off my chest I wanted to show you what I crafted today. I made this cute headdress to celebrate the fact that autumn is almost, well kind of here! 

Sincerely, 

/Viola Whimsical

 

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It’s been about a month…

…since I last wrote here.

I really don’t know what made me not blog during this past month, I guess I’ve been having enough things going on with myself so that might be why I didn’t blog. I don’t know, time flies.

Tomorrow another chapter of my life begins. (Note to self: not a new life, just a new chapter, you’ve only gotten one life) I will be going to a yoga/art/spiritual/music course in a beautiful place in the countryside/forest that will occupy my time up until December. Feels good. I try not to think of it as scary neither imagine terrible things happen. A bit nervous anyhow, I’m currently waiting for a email from the course leader with answers on some questions I have.

I don’t know what else to write right now, might write later today or later this week. Thank you for reading!

 

Hugs,

Viola Whimsical

 

 

Long time no see (Life update)

Hi! It’s been a while. 

Here an explanation will follow…

I’ve been taking care of myself, slowly changing back to who I used to be. Taking care of my physical health. It’s something that is so easily lost however, so I need to practice my lost self dicipline everyday, cause in my situation I need to loose weight in order to feel good about myself again. 

I want to feel light and healthy again and this damn situation with my mental health isn’t getting any better if I stay at this weight. I need to move on from this post trauma(s) gaining weight shit. If I could explain how my body feel like in one word it would be heavy. I feel heavy. And it doesn’t feel good! 

Exercising outside in the forest, I already do that. I need some killer belly exercise asap. Need to remember that. (Yes I tend to keep forgetting everything all the time, that is also post trauma shit…so this is like a little reminder for myself, not only a blogpost♡) 

On an end note, today I’ve been dreaming about picking up youtube again, but this time for real. I’d love to become a youtuber one day. Spreading awareness about mental illness and practicing my creativity with an audience. It would probably make me even stronger! Maybe one day you’ll all hear about me ;)♡

Tihi, now I need some sleep. 

Sincerely, 

/Viola Whimsical

Thoughts of today that I want to share

Hi. It’s been a while since I shared my current thoughts on life and everything that is going on in my little world.

It’s been a living hell taking quitting an unwanted medication I’ve been having since 2014, aka the one whom made me lose control over my physical health. It’s better now though, but when you quit a medication you often develope symptoms as when you started taking it. So I’ve been an angry wasp and lost my shit by myself. I’m so glad it’s gone now. I’m not 100% symptom free though, I still get angry when things aren’t going as planned. I’m going to give it as long as it takes to settle down with everything.

Writing from an anxiety free state of mind today. It’s been so long since I had anxiety that I almost think that something is wrong lol.

What else is going on in my world? Oh yeah I started going to these weight watchers meetings and using their app and everything so I guess you can call it an investment in my future and physical health. I’m so over saying that ”today I’m starting my new life!” and shit like that though because it just makes it even worse if you don’t succed, but one shall not give up, try again! I will not call it my new life though, I shall call it a new chapter where I try to do my best if I am able to, to increase my life quality.

Overall thoughts on the outside world, hmm, I’m not outside my own world anymore since I deleted all my social media except my blog and youtube and I never read the mainstream news or watch tv so I can’t talk so much about that. Plus I live in a small forest town far away from bigger cities so I’m not apart of that in my daily life either. But I can however, share my story on why I quit and why I’m not into that anymore.

Well, I’m really sensitive and reading/ watching the news brings me down so, so much that I simply can’t function. So that’s what’s up with the news thing, The social media bit is pretty much the same thing. I also can’t deal with the stress social media brings into my dailiy life. And for me it serves no purpose either as I see through a lot of the double standard elitist shit that Is everywhere, especially on instagram.

A lot of people that I’ve known in real life or met that where not nice has become famous on alternative social media and it fucks with my head with the knowledge of what they’ve done to me and others and then they’re getting worshipped like gods by people who just like their apprerance. You see, the outside world feels so cold and hollow and I’ve actively choosen to participate as little as I can.

Elitists are everywhere, showing off ”fancy” and expensive status symbols and making everyone feel like they’re less successful than them, just because they have that stupid thing with a brand name on it. I’m so sick of that! I know I get influenced a bit too, even if it’s just a little, but that’s how the (makeup/ clothing) companies profit, on everyones insecurities. I think it’s funny too, as far as alternative subculture goes, there are elitists in every corner today who’ve totally interpreted the subcultures wrong. GOTH- born from punk. PUNK- born from a diy, rising against the system state of mind. And a ton of goths and punks today only buy or get sponsored by these companies that doesn’t even care about the subculture in the end. Just like mainstream consumers. I think It’s so sad.

I’ve left labeling myself, only focusing on what I like, instead of putting myself in limited boxes, I think It was a good strategy in school, when I knew I was diffrent but couldn’t explain myself when people asked, to point at goth and be like ”that’s who I am” because that’s how people work. They’ve got to put everyone in boxes so they can understand the world and people easier.

Today I however feel a positive vibe on how I feel with my life. I went out for almost an hour to walk in the forest earlier. It heals my broken soul. Writing help me to heal a lot too. ALSO, making to do lists to make daily life easier when It’s hard helps a fucking ton!

 

I’m in a writing mood so I might make some more posts today.

 

Remember, the best thing about the future is that it’s coming one day at a time and not all at once.

 

Blessed be )O(,

/Viola Whimsical

The blog gets a brand new makeover in 2016

Once again I ascend from the darkest corner of the magical forest of Värmland to revive my blog back from the dead! I’ve got so many new ideas for the blog and I think blogging would seriously do me some good. I promise you lots of new content! Currently working on diffrent subjects to bring up and I need to have a photography session so I can work on a new header and stuff. My first post will be a new introduction. (I will leave the old one up so I can look back at how I used to be, I have changed a lot but at the same time not. I’m still the same person!) not quite sure yet if I’m going to be blogging in both Swedish and English or if I’m just going to stick with English. Anyways… Stay tuned!
/Viola Whimsical